Chore Love

Of all the household chores that need to be done, which ones do you appreciate when your spouse does them, especially without being asked?

“I appreciate it when you fill up the sugar bowl,” I start.

I think I’m the only one in our house who still uses real sugar. Each morning I use some in my hot tea and I appreciate it when the glass container has been filled.

“Well, it’s partly in self-defense that I do it. There’s sugar all over the counter when you do it. So, it’s 50-50 thoughtful,” Libby explains.

“I appreciate it when you clean the dust off the ceiling fans. And whenever you clean our bathroom, I appreciate that.,” she adds.

One of the most common sources of conflict for couples has to do with household chores, especially when couples have different expectations, tolerances, and habits in respect to clutter, things out of place, amount of stuff and the like.

For instance, when you finish using something, what internal question do you answer:

• Where does this go?

• Where can I put this?

If you answer a different question than your spouse, then you have a baked-in irritant. And that irritant may grow into a criticism, then a resentment and then a conviction that your spouse has a character flaw.

And don’t fool yourself.

If you just say, “Well we are just different.” You don’t really mean that.

What you mean is:

• My preference is right and theirs is wrong.

• I am responsible, they are lazy.

• They have OCD and I’m relaxed.

You want an easy way to love and encourage your spouse?

Regularly do a chore or task that means a lot to them.

What do you appreciate?