Your Aspiration

How would you like your spouse to experience you? or What kind of person do you aspire to be to your spouse?

Share your answer with your spouse and if you are brave enough, ask for their feedback.

I would like Libby to experience me as caring and encouraging, along with patient and kind. I tell her that and then ask for her feedback.

“Well, there’s the positive and negative, of course,” she begins.

“Your safe and you’re faithful and predictable.”

Wow, I’m as good as a golden retriever so far.

“You’re a friend. You’re a good listener and you’re thoughtful. You think about the things I say, and don’t just react”

“A friend. That’s great!” I respond.

“I bet I can guess some of the negative ways you experience me,” I say. “Sometimes I can be irritable.”

“Sometimes?”, she says.

“Maybe like being on the edge of irritability” she explains.

I think to myself, “Well, that wouldn’t be the case if everyone just did what they should, like put things back where they belong and not lose one in the pair of brand new running socks in only one wash cycle.”

(Have you ever noticed that patience is mentioned in almost every list of spiritual virtues in the Bible and is perhaps so difficult, especially for men, that it requires the power of God’s Spirit? I have.)

But, in my better moments, and more importantly, in my worst, I want to remember what best serves her.

How do you want your spouse to experience you?