Empathy

“Empathy is the single greatest relationship skill set a couple can master. It changes everything.”

Helping Couples, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott and Dr. David H.l Olseo

From 1-10 How skilled are you at having empathy?

What number would your spouse give you?

Share with each other.

Identify a past success.

Determine two ways you could grow in empathy.

(Remember – no criticism.)

(Confession: I almost cancelled this prompt after our conversation.)

“You’re pretty empathetic when you feel good about yourself,” Libby says.

Wow, how did she do that? I think that she just threw my empathy under the bus, making it something about me.

“Isn’t that right?” (She must be reading my facial expression.)

“You were really empathetic when I had the flu,” she adds.

I had never seen her so sick.

“And you’re much more empathetic with my parking and backing skills.”

Did she say ‘skills’?

“At least you don’t open the door anymore and look for the white line and say, ‘Can’t you just drive straight into the white lines?’”

Okay, Libby automatically scores higher on empathy. And I expect that we are both more expert on me than we are on her. But I no longer ever ask her, “Why do you feel that way?’ (Which is husband-speak for, “What’s wrong with you?”

If empathy is a skill, then it can be developed and practiced until it is habit.

The goal?

Hearing Libby say, “Thank you for caring.”

“Thank you for listening.”

How well do you do with empathy?