Atmosphere

How would you describe the ‘atmosphere’ of your family when you were a child, age 5-11?

How is the ‘atmosphere’ of your family similar or different?

Our Experience

Libby was the baby of five children, three of whom were teenagers when she was born. Her parents were older. By the time she was five, those siblings were in the middle of young adult crises: a secret marriage and pregnancy, an abusive spouse, and another marriage of concern. These troubles were handled privately and cute, little Libby played well the role of being the adorable, bright spot of the family, “Daddy’s little girl.” Also, her extended family experienced their own crises: sudden death by heart attack, car accident, battles with alcohol and financial issues which gave her family the role of being the stable and supportive rock for everyone else. A cousin who was a little older than her lost his parents in a car accident and came and lived with them for an extended time. The atmosphere was one of as strong, godly, generous family, quietly overwhelmed and perhaps a little fatigued by it all. Her father made it safe and her five-day-a-week maid, Maragaret, made it fun. (Unlike in the movie, The Help, Margaret was treated a part of the family.)

When I was five my grandmother moved in with us and lived with us until her death twenty years later. My father was a retail store manager and was rarely home and my mother worked for a bank that eventually became BankAmerica. She was one of the first women to become a Vice-President and when she retired she was managing their headquarters branch in the Charlotte skyscraper. Both parents were leaders in our church and since we were Southern Baptists, that meant church on Sunday morning and night, and Wednesday night. We were the most dedicated Christians of all. I have no memory of my dad ever wearing casual clothes at home. Pajamas and robe at breakfast and then suit pants and a white shirt every other time, even when we played pitch in the backyard on Sunday afternoon.

On Saturday night we watched the Jackie Gleason show and the Lawrence Welk show, back in the day when homes had only one TV.

So, the atmosphere was one of efficiency and responsibility, with faith and comedy thrown in. Serving God and others (customers) were the highest values. So, the house was the staging and recovery place for working for others outside the home. Rarely did either of our families have guests over for any reason. There was no time or energy for that.

Our children are old enough to have their own families, their own therapists, and write their own books, and they will always appreciate the love, stability and positive affirmation that their mother lavished on them, but they will also tell you that our family existed to serve others and was subordinate to that end. They all have superb skills with people but we admire the focus they give their own families.

Now we get to do the same with their kids. Last week my five-year-old grandson, Grey and I were looking at the plastic cap of the drainage pipe in our front yard, and suddenly, I said, “Let’s go get some tools and open this up!” He couldn’t believe it and as we walked across the driveway to the garage he said, “Papa, you’re a good papa. I want to see it and you want to see it.” To him our atmosphere is fun. It’s never too late.

What was the atmosphere of your family?

Mark

www.purposefilledlove.com