When Support Is Needed

(Background: While in Costa Rica two weeks ago, Mark broke his foot and is on crutches or a scooter for eight weeks. Libby suggested this conversation and prompt.)

What do you learn about yourself and your relationship when one of you is injured, sick, or recovering from a health event?

Our Experience

“You know I don’t like needing so much help, right,”” I begin.

“But you know I don’t mind. And it makes it worse if I you try to do things you shouldn’t do, like bringing your dishes in from the porch.”

I had bumped into a flameless candle and hot wax spilled onto the shelf and floor. Libby was not happy. When it cooled, I was able to clean it up and I said to Libby:

“Your anger might have been a little out of proportion to what I did.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I think it was from the built-up stress of managing this.”

Here are some things we are learning.

1. Neither of us like to need the other.

2. Both of us are glad to support the other the best we can.

3. Libby is more private and does not like me to tell others about her situation. I want to post mine on Facebook. It’s big news!

4. We have to be careful and honest about acknowledging the stress. Otherwise, it will come out in impatience and irritability. Losing our humor and playfulness are the first signs of ignoring the stress.

5. I’m thankful that our day-to-day ‘normal’ relationship is positive. Otherwise, our resilience would be compromised.

6. When we pause and consider the big-picture we realize how much we love each other.

Don’t waste a health crisis. Grow. Learn.