Self-Management
How do you manage who you are when you are under stress?
Our Experience
“Manage myself?”
That’s a novel concept, I thought. When it comes to stress, I feel more like a pinball getting shot around by flippers that are out of my control.
My default?
Ignore my stress.
Out-source it to Libby.
Engage mindless activities that entertain me, like scrolling through Facebook and Instagram videos. (I do now know how to escape out of an ice pit, and how to do “a full-body, two minutes or less mobility flow.” I may need a hip replacement as a result.)
To love Libby well I must accept radical responsibility for my stress To do that I have to be able to identify it and develop helpful habits to manage it.
“Libby, how do you manage your stress?” I ask.
“Well, I journal about what is worrying me. I go on walks. And I try to practice gratitude, especially if I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about something.”
“I don’t know why but it makes me more anxious than it used to when we have people over for dinner. I want everything to be right.”
“And sometimes you will let me know when I am stressed and unaware of it,” she adds.
At those times it is important for me to focus on supporting her. I could easily get irritated about her stress and attempt to shame her out of it. “How could you be stressed by that?!!?
Journalling helps us not only to be present to ourselves, but present to God. It gives us strength when through prayer and Scripture we realize how common and hard stress is. And it is relieving to accept what I cannot control. (A life-saving concept for parents.)
Also, trusted friends provide a great sounding board. Hearing ourselves talk out loud about our stresses usually gives us a more hopeful perspective.
How do you mange who you are when you are under stress?
