Your Equanimity
Equanimity: evenness of mind, especially under stress
Our Experience
I have to admit that I did not know what the word “equanimity” meant until one of my sons, Will, used it one day in a conversation. After describing some difficult situations that to me seemed like emergencies, he said:
“But these things have not messed up my equanimity.”
I asked him what he meant by that and discovered a new word. The equal part threw me off, assuming that it had something to do with being fair to others. (Will’s book, No Elevator to Everest: Shift from Surviving to Thriving through Spirit-Led Self-Awareness can now be ordered on Amazon.)
When I asked Libby about her equanimity, she used the words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Sonnet 43 but instead of saying, How do I love Thee? She said:
“How do I lose my equanimity? Let me count the ways.”
She quickly began counting:
When someone is dismissive of her.
When someone acts like their point of view is the only correct one.
(Editorial Comment: Those two represent healthy growth for Libby. Earlier in her life she would have thought it was her fault. She is now free to not like some people, or the things they do.)
As we talked and felt safe enough without criticism or blame, we realized several things about equanimity.
Evenness of mind is a good thing – at all times.
We are each responsible for maintaining our equanimity. We cannot outsource it to each other.
It is necessary to name our anxieties and stresses in order to reset our evenness of mind.
When we are struggling we must resist dragging the other into upset.
As followers of Christ we can learn to trust God like Jesus did. When the mountains are crumbling into the sea we can be still and rest in who God is. Psalm 46
How do you maintain your equanimity?
What makes you lose your peace?
